Can I get real for a sec? Let me ask you a question: is there something you are holding onto? Is it a belief, hurt, pain, words, labels, or an experience? Whatever it is, ask yourself why you’re holding onto it and is it beneficial to your well being? I asked myself these questions three years ago when I started my own personal growth journey. It wasn’t until I began to dig below the surface, that I realized I had been holding on to a number of labels and hurtful experiences that were plaguing my mind and my self image.
So how did I work through all of this? Let me back up a little bit. I was a person who was riddled with so much self doubt and insecurities about everything. My weight, my hair, my face, what I wore, what activities I did, the job I had, the wedding I had, the marriage I had, the car I had, literally everything you could possibly imagine I was either insecure about or tied my value in something that was out of my control. This led me to be a perfectionist and workaholic. I was blessed like my parents to have a very good work habit, but when it came to my job, I began to beat myself up over any little mistake and stress myself out to the point where my body would shut down.
I also did not have the best school experience growing up dealing with mean girls, rumors, names, being made fun of, and feeling so awkward and afraid to say something wrong, I was more passive. I didn’t realize that these things I carried with me to college. Sure I was able to reinvent myself and start becoming the person I wanted to be, but my self talk was a mess. I danced for a few teams and student run clubs and even though I was in the best shape of my life, my inner dialogue was, “I’ll be so much happier when I lose 10 pounds,” or, “I’ll be so much prettier when I get down to a size 8.” These things I had heard from other people I had believed to be true and had become part of my identity.
It wasn’t until after Michael and I were married that all of these insecurities were elevated and I needed help letting go of all of these limiting beliefs. I started with books. Some of the best books I read that helped me the most were The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown, So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore, and You are a Badass by Jen Sincerno in that order. Once I started to fill my head with new beliefs that I was more than what mean girls said about me in high school, I started to believe that I was good enough.
Another crucial factor in my journey was finding my faith. Now let me preface this by saying this is not to push my faith on anyone, this is my personal story and I’m sharing what worked for me. I started to attend a local church and begin having a relationship with God. Through sermon after I sermon, I heard the message that God loves you for who you are, you are perfect in His eyes. I started to find my worth in my creator and not worry about being accepted my by fellow man because that didn’t seam to matter anymore. What mattered is what my heavenly father thought of me and it was incredibly freeing. I started to live my life knowing my value and that God’s got me. He’s got my back and I need to live through my heart and my value.
Lastly, I went through a lot of counseling. Counseling is not for everyone but it was so worth it to be able to talk through things. To be able to uncover things that were plaguing my mind and be able to let them go. Through counseling I was able to release the limiting beliefs and replace them with new ones of empowerment. I began to recite affirmations daily and was able to finally start believing them. All of these tools helped me to let go of all the baggage from my past and step into a new light knowing I am enough.
Why do I share all of this? It’s to give you hope that if you are holding onto any kind of pain, suffering, or limiting beliefs, you too have the power to let them go. They do not identify you. You have all the power in the world to identify yourself with so much value and worth. I’m here to remind you that it is okay to let that crap go. Get it off your back. It is only holding you back fro reaching your true potential. If you hold onto any kind of hurt or suffering that someone else placed on you, the only one you are hurting is yourself. Until you can forgive, you will forever be in bondage to them.
So today, let one thing go. Take that one brick out of your back. It is freeing to let go of the negative stuff. It is serving you no purpose. If you can’t let it go on your own, there is no shame in seeking out professional help. If you want to live a life of joy, you must first start but letting things go.